Using Active Bystander Intervention to be a better ally
Intro to Active Bystander Intervention
An Active Bystander is someone who intervenes when they witness harassment (or discrimination, hate crime, and other forms of unacceptable behaviour). They perform a vital role, not just stopping harassment, but also preventing it by setting the standard and expectations for other people's social behaviour.
Active Bystander Intervention is a form of allyship, and it gets easier the more you practice. Until then, intervening in cases of harassment can seem scary. Here are 5 key techniques for Active Bystander Intervention to help you out - and some tips to make sure you're doing it safely.
The 5 'Ds' of Active Bystander Intervention:
Direct Action
Direct Action is exactly what it says on the tin - directly intervening and challenging the perpetrator.
e.g. “That’s not okay” / “That’s harassment, you need to stop” / “You’re making them uncomfortable” / “Not cool” / “We don’t do that here”
A useful trick if you're a less confrontational person (or worried about escalating the situation) is to ask pointed questions instead of making statements.
e.g. "Can you explain that joke to me?" / "Do you think that's appropriate?" / "Are you aware of our harassment policy?"
Distraction
Distraction is where you engage the target in casual conversation to de-escalate the situation. This is a much more subtle approach and can be helpful when you're not sure if you fully understand the situation.
e.g. “Can you tell me the time, please?” / “Do you know the way to the nearest station?” / “I love your shoes! Where did you get them?”
Delegation
Another self-explanatory one, Delegation means asking someone with more power than you to intervene on your behalf.
e.g. Finding a security guard, bouncer, police officer (or anyone in uniform), manager, someone bigger and tougher, etc., and explaining the situation to them
With this intervention, it's important to be aware that some people (such as those from minoritised racial backgrounds, and trans people) can feel less safe in the presence of police, so weigh up the situation and decide upon the safest course of action for all involved.
Documentation
Documentation is where you record details during or after the harassment. This enables the target to use these details as evidence if they wish to submit a report, and also holds all parties to account for their behaviour.
e.g. Filming the harassment on your phone / Taking notes (times, places, identifying characteristics, etc.)
Delay
Delay means waiting until the incident is over and checking in with the target. I know, it sounds like a cop-out, but research shows that using Delay can make a situation much less negative for the target.
e.g. “Hey, I saw that happen and it was unacceptable - are you okay?” / “I’m so sorry you experienced that, can I help at all?”
Prioritising personal safety:
Each of these interventions have their pros and cons, but whichever you choose (or if you choose a combination) it's essential that you're looking out for your own safety and wellbeing.
Here are some things to include in a mini risk-assessment before getting involved:
Are there any weapons, or anything that could be used as a weapon, e.g. a bottle?
What time of day is it? Is it dark outside or light?
What are the numbers involved? Are there more of them, or do you have backup?
What's the location? Are there witnesses?
What are your personal characteristics? Could the harassment switch onto you?
Are there drugs or alcohol involved? Are people behaving unpredictably?
What is the escalation speed and risk? Is there time to try something more subtle?
How safe do you feel? Trust your gut.
5 common allyship mistakes
(and how to avoid them)
When learning a new skill, everyone makes mistakes - and allyship is no different! Here are the top 5 mistakes allies usually make, and how we can do better:
1: Treating "ally" as a noun, not a verb
Allyship is the practice of taking intentional, positive action to advance the liberation of groups we do not personally belong to. It's a continuous process of learning (and unlearning), and taking action to literally change people's worlds. It's not a title you can give yourself and then be done with it - it requires doing something.
2: Centring our own feelings, perspectives, and experiences
When we care about a topic, it can be so easy to speak about our own experiences and emotions first. However, if we're trying to make things better for others, it's their feelings, perspectives, and experiences we should be focused on. People with lived experience of a particular form of oppression or marginalisation will have insight into the issues they face (and their solutions) that you might not see.
3: Not being strategic
What is the best use of time and energy when it comes to active allyship? What will make the most impact? These are questions that allies rarely ask themselves, meaning that their allyship is more of a vague intention than a targeted effort to create an equitable world - and we need more than vibes and good intentions. We need real change.
4: Expecting credit
I get it: when you do something that takes hard work, you want some recognition for it. But allyship isn't a favour, or something you do for acclaim - it's simply standing up for your own values and beliefs. We should all be trying to make the world more inclusive, and focusing on being thanked or rewarded distracts from the real issues.
5: Getting defensive when challenged
Did that last one make you feel a little defensive? Fair enough, but we all need to work on that. Accepting and learning from critique is vital to improving our allyship skills and achieving real impact, and isn't that the goal here?
So how can we avoid these issues?
Reframe being an ally as a practice, not an identity. Remember why you want to do this work (because it is work - changing the world always is!), and keep your goal in mind. Learn from people with lived experience to identify the most practical and impactful actions you could take. Be the microphone, not the voice behind it. Use your platform to amplify the voices of others, even if that means losing opportunities yourself. If your allyship is critiqued, that's a good thing! If we interpret these critiques as opportunities to learn, grow, and do better next time, they become a lot easier to process. Finally, work with communities (and build you own) to make change. We're stronger together.
Services Spotlight
Allyship Training
Whether you're looking for an Introduction to Allyship session, an Active Bystander Intervention workshop, or a more advanced Amplifying Allyship session, I've got you covered.
Session overview: Introduction to Allyship
Possibly the most vital, urgent, and complex part of creating an inclusive culture, allyship can feel like a minefield. To create real change we need allies who are empowered, confident, and driven to take action. This session helps participants understand how to become an active ally, inspiring them to take intentional and positive action to support the causes and communities they care about. By identifying their own style of
allyship and how they can best use their skills to support others, we can make allyship not only more accessible, but far more impactful.
Recommended session length: 2 hours
Key Learning Outcomes
Understand what active allyship looks like
Understand the importance of active allyship
Understand what forms allyship can take
Identify their own allyship style & gain confidence in it
Identify 3 allyship commitments they will make going forward
Please request my Training Brochure to find out more about my training ethos and available sessions. If you're looking for something bespoke, just get in touch!
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